Have you ever been afraid to ask for more of what you want? You seem to think that you already have so much that you love in your life, so maybe you aren’t deserving of more?
I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot lately. I keep feeling like my life is so good, how could I possibly ask for more? How could I possibly believe that I deserve more? Am I worthy of it?
That inner voice, my ego says to me ‘you should be happy with what you’ve got’.
This isn’t my first time in life thinking that life is so good, how could it get any better? At times it can feel like I have this imaginary circle around what I am allowed, and that I’ve hit the maximum of what I deserve.
But that thinking doesn’t help me move forward in my life, in fact it just gets me stuck in the same spot pretty quickly.
So I really dove deeper into this concept and if it’s something you are going through as well, I hope these words will help you.
It started with a journalling prompt I set for myself, ‘am I really allowed to increase my bubble of what I deserve when I already have so much?’
It’s a big question and what first reared it’s ugly head was that of course I wasn’t allowed to, and maybe you’ve felt this way as well?
The feeling that you have to be a ‘nice’ girl, who doesn’t ask for more than she needs.
Thankfully even though I had that thought I knew that wasn’t the real answer for me. I knew I needed to get over this notion of having to always be the ‘nice’ person, and dig a little deeper.
So when I really sat with myself and asked myself the question ‘how do I increase this worth daily so I am allowing more good stuff to flow to me?’.
I knew what I was coming up against and went to grab The Big Leap from my bookshelf, scanning through the pages of all the nuggets of wisdom I had highlighted in the past.
Until I found it, perfectly fitting as to exactly how I was feeling.
“Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. ” The Big Leap.
It all makes sense. A sigh of relief and my shoulders relax. In the middle of a big up level within my own life I am facing that inner thermostat. The belief that I have hit my limit.
What was needed next was for me to lock eyes with all the reasons I didn’t believe I was worthy of or deserving of going to the next level. Or the horrible things that would be waiting for me if I moved past what I thought I was allowed.
So here is where the real work began.
Do you feel like you are hitting or reaching your own inner thermostat right now?
First step is first, you need to look those fears of yours and all the stories and mean things your mind tells you as to why you can’t have and continue to move forward the way you want to.
I started to think about all the reasons I cannot expand further than what I have right now. And these are all the thoughts that streamed from my consciousness . Maybe you can relate to these, maybe you have your own?
My inner dialogue was telling me the not nice stories of …
- I am not deserving of what I want, to have my own successful coaching business.
- I am not perfect and therefore not deserving.
- I am not ready.
- I don’t have all the answers and I am definitely not an expert to help other people.
- I’d have to leave my partner because we would be so different.
- My family wouldn’t get me anymore. They were used to me being one person and showing up as one person, so if I grew and expanded past that I wouldn’t fit in anymore.
- My friends and peers from all my old jobs would think I’d changed and I wouldn’t fit in or belong there anymore.
- I’d be ostracised.
- I’d have haters, people who would judge me and misunderstood me.
- I would not know what to do when I got more money coming to me, I would freak out and I’d rather not deal with that.
- My life’s already so good, I would be being selfish.
- I am not good at marketing and don’t perfectly know what my ‘niche’ is.
- I am just being selfish wanting more.
All of these thoughts and stories are constructs my mind has made up to keep me safe. To tell me that I am not deserving of more good stuff in my life and that if I do continue moving forward only bad stuff will end up happening.
All of this trying to keep me safe, keep me small.
When I think about the life I want to have, that is not what I want my life to look like, being safe and playing small. And so I must release the hold that these stories play in my mind and anchor back into this present moment.
Because in this present moment, none of those things have happened – and quite frankly some of them may never, and others might happen but I can deal with the along the way. The present moment the ego cannot survive.
In writing this post as well, something very interesting came up. It was clear that the underlying belief I had was that if I have MORE, it means I am taking from someone else who has LESS.
Meaning that in that state I believe there are limited resources, times and space. This is based in lack, and this is the complete opposite of what I believe in and how I like to live my life.
The very thing I was thinking was going against one of my core desires and beliefs.
There is always that choice, I can stay where I am with my life that is amazing, or I could risk it and step a little bit further outside of my comfort zone.
I bet you can guess which one I chose?
The growth, of course, always.
It’s my time for my big leap.
The belief that there is something fundamentally flawed stopping me from expanding even further beyond my incredible life is no longer serving me.
I am moving forward regardless.
Are you ready to continue moving forward regardless of what your inner mind and ego tells you? I would love to work with you, click here to schedule your compliemtnary 30 minute caoching session.